The Hasids Think We’re Crazy

First off a disclaimer: I’m Jewish.

Admist all the bile thrown yesterday on everyone’s favorite hipster hate-site, diehipster.com, a very important commentor posted named, “Hasids_Make_Posers_Pay_Out_The_Ass_For_Wanting_To_Be_Urban.”  Here’s his post:

You’ll probably never read this because you seem like you’re always busy being cool and urban.

Meanwhile the natives could give a shit about being cool and urban. They are just living their day to day lives like they always have been doing.

These fucking transplant posers will always be just that.

POSERS.

As I learned working on a documentary about displaced artists from illegially-convertered industrial space, the Hassidic Jews control a lot of the property in Williamsburg and Greenpoint.  I almost feel 100% certain this poster is a Hassid, in that he posted on Saturday after sundown and well, okay I’m not certain but something about his anger and how he posted seems that way.

Anyway it’s these landlords who have been a big issues in the rent game and part of this interesting dynamic.  Their morals are questionable in issues that are in attendance to the “non-chosen-ones.”  And in many ways are a threat to people’s rising rents just as prominent as White people wanting to move into your area.

The Hasids hate the Hipster, yet they are making tons of money off them.  It’s a long-spoken debate.  And not really all that surprising considering that they also make tons of money off of  creating drugs that could potentially kill a lot of non-hassids.   Of course, this may just be a few bad apples, but overall their attitudes to “non-Hassids” seems to me to be quite bizarre and possibly the reason why a second half of the testament had to be written about loving thy neighbor.

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11 Responses to The Hasids Think We’re Crazy

  1. Lee Jones says:

    Oh, the Hasids.

    Well, I’m of Jewish descent too and the Hasids drive me batshit crazy.
    I find them vaguely interesting but they also act somewhat like a cult, which I’m not too keen on. They’re more “Jewish” than anyone else. And they all but worship their dead rabbi.

    Fascinating factoid about their owning so much property in “hipsterland” and therefore being the ones raising the rent.

    And yes, we all know they hate hipsters on moral ground. We can’t forget the hilarious bike lane incident.

    Unrelated, I’m surprised there has been so little discussion of what are probably the two main quintessential hipster mocking (I shouldn’t say “hating” cause there’s no mean streak) sites:
    http://www.latfh.com
    http://www.hipsterrunoff.com

    While the former, providing images of our favorite scum at their scummiest followed by “witty” captions, might be nothing more than a big ironic joke (though if it is, a bunch of the targeted trash have totally missed the point and have tried to defend their “reputations”), it’s certainly to the point and damn hilarious and manages to fill me with more disgust than any other similarly themed site, including diehipster.com.

    The latter is run by self proclaimed “closeted hipster” carles, a genius in his own right who self stylizes all his writing a fit a mock exaggeration of the whiniest, most entitled and self-absorbed 16 year old girl hipster fan ever. His persona changes from time to time. He used to pull of a brilliant 20 something “alt” who would go through such challenging decisions as deciding which ironic music to listen to, which ironic clothes to wear, etc. all to create his “personal brand,” easily the most brilliant description of a hipster’s character I’ve ever read.

    But the thing is, before I dish out all this love, I’ve gotta step back and admit that both the dude/people who run LATFH as well as carles are PROBABLY HIPSTERS, though jaded and cynical enough to see their scuminess for what it is and therefore be able to channel it into relevant and very affecting commentary.

    Let’s also remember that I’m sure there are dozens of hipsters reading diehipster every single day, completely getting off on self deprecation trips, sipping a stale PBR at a friend’s loft/gallery space with a pile of bike parts sitting within an arm’s length.

    I’m sure that as I’m typing this, some scraggly douche is turning to his half drunk shit smelling bikeride cohort and saying:
    “Duuuude…you should totally check out this article, it’s like hilarious.”
    –“Oh, man, I already saw it. Is that the one about the guy who got mugged on his bike two blocks from here?”
    “Yeah man, this post is hilarious. I’ve been reading all these hilarious comments too. Some of it’s kinda fucked up but it’s soooooooooooooo funny.”
    –“Hey man, I think it’s morning now.”
    “Oh, seriously? Haha, we should sleep then.”
    –“Yeah, totally. Natalie’s show was awesome though.”
    “Yeah man.” Hey, you want the top or bottom bunk tonight?”

    So what’s the point in any of it? I’m sure we could all find scores of articles and tons of evidence “proving” just how terrible hipsters are. But to what end? Just to we can have little internet fights and all feel good about ourselves for sharing a set of beliefs? What does that do? Who does that help? Talking about this all day does nothing. Tyler won’t stop pulling shit stained yarn out of his ass during “performance” pieces. Lori won’t sell her “fixies” and all her other worldly “vintage” possessions and move back to North Dakota. Dan won’t stop screen printing ironic “retro” logos on Am. Appy t-shirts and selling them for $25 at his friend’s “shows.” No, nothing’s gonna happen. So what’s the point?

    to be continued…probably.

  2. Lee Jones says:

    Pt. 2 What’s in an image?

    [note: I had a beautiful 500 word rant all typed out and then my fucking commuter crashed, so here I go again]:

    If you ask your average hipster hater how they identify their prey, the usual answer is “by the way they dress.”
    So let’s look at some particularly nauseating examples of dressed up hipsters, courtesy of LATFH.
    1) http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l550o3Rqpk1qzzhzdo1_500.jpg
    2) http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l2s685RimA1qzzhzdo1_500.jpg
    3) http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l5sybdYMTC1qzzhzdo1_500.jpg
    4) http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l5zvprD4xU1qzzhzdo1_500.jpg

    I think we can safely say that every one of the above images depicts a hipster.

    Yesterday, it was brought to my attention that a number of trolls were spamming a blog titled “knifefight in BK;” in particular a posting making fun of a middle aged woman wearing gloves in the summer.
    It was pedestrian trolling…A few “you’re ugly” and “go die” comments (yawn) written by the usual set of trolls.
    But there was something to the initial post. Something deeper that did actually resonate and demands attention and analysis.
    The woman, pictured here:
    http://knifefight.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341d2f6553ef0120a5b52669970c-popup
    is dressed like a hipster and is being attacked by the writer of the blog (who certainly has a bit of a hipster look herself) for being dressed like a hipster Note: that specific wording/connection is never made on the blog itself. Instead the writer says:
    “[YOU MAY SAY] Gloves aren’t that weird.” Yes, they are, and I’ll tell you why. A. I took this picture in the sweatiest, grossest part of July, which means that (lace?) gloves are unnecessary clothing in the least clothing-friendly time of year, in addition to being completely bizarre on anyone who isn’t doing a clever early Madonna impression or isn’t a cute 14 year old Japanese girl. 7. Notice that our friend is wearing a blazer, recall that I took this in July, and notice that she’s also carrying an additional jacket, slung over her briefcases, that appears to have been fashioned from an impossibly peppy quilt. H. I don’t have to give more reasons. She’s bonkers. 2 briefcases? Bonkers.”

    Are we really going to argue that she’s “crazier” than this:
    1 http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l5sybdYMTC1qzzhzdo1_500.jpg
    or 2) http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l58qlieUVn1qzzhzdo1_500.jpg
    or, my personal favorite, 3) http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l2s685RimA1qzzhzdo1_500.jpg

    How are the above images depicting individuals any less “bonkers” than the middle aged woman?

    Simple: because she’s not a hipster and cannot excuse her look through post-modernism and irony.

    I’ll explain: one of my biggest issues with the way hipsters generally approach culture and works of art is that they filter it all through irony laced post modern doctrine which allows for one of the greatest fallacies to befall art appreciation. They assume that because they’re young, enlightened and “cultured,” they can understand the underlying “hidden meanings” in things that older generations couldn’t fathom and as a result tease those very same individuals for “missing” what they so clearly comprehend.
    Example: I watch a film made in the 1940ss. At one point, a male actor says “I’m feeling gay.” Within the context of the film, he likely means that he’s happy. But a hipster would pull out the possible double entendre and either make fun of the film for not understanding the greater implications of its dialogue, within the context of a 21st century viewing or assume that the film MUST have this subtext, regardless of the context of the scene. They can feel superior to others for “getting” something that older people wouldn’t see. They get off on teasing someone for behaving in what they perceive as a “stupid” way because they don’t “get” how stupid it is.
    What this rather convoluted example boils down to is that hipsters view people in the same way. An older woman dressed strangely is a freak but a hipster douche sporting a can of cheap beer while wearing an American flag shirt MUST have ironic meaning.
    Hipsters assume that because they are living in a “post-modern-world” they intrinsically understand the “greater meaning” of everything they do and if not, write it off as ironic.

    So the issue isn’t whether or not the woman on the train has any rationale behind her outfit or indeed is simply batshit crazy, it’s that she doesn’t understand the implications of her wearing such an outfit in the post-modern world. I’d be hard pressed to believe that the writer of this article would have made the same dismissive comments of this guy, despite his equally “bonkers” outfit.

    So, let’s back up for a bit and forget all this biased logic (on both ends).
    Does looking like a hipster (or by extension this middle aged woman) necessarily relegate you to being the victim of an “indie” pogrom? If so, should everyone have all their body hair shaved off and walk around wearing a monochromatic uniform (and I’m not talking about an ironic monochromatic uniform)? What constitutes a so-called “normal” looking person?
    I can say flat out that 75% of the American population woulda looked like freaks if this were 1910, not 2010.
    Is someone wearing way-too-big baggie jeans and a shirt saying “gangsta” make you “normal? How about businessmen dressing in suits every day, despite this being the age of “casual wear”? How bout bro-dawgs wearing athletic shorts in the dead of winter? Is that normal?
    It’s all about an image.
    People use clothing to say who they are, whether they want to or not. Every outfit is selected because the person feels compelled to wear it for some reason. Maybe it’s to impress a client at work? Maybe it’s to look like a designer thug? Maybe it’s to look like a caricature of an urban “artist?” In any case, it’s all calculated in one way or another. So why does wearing skinny jeans make you a freak?
    Simple: it doesn’t.

    What so many of the completely rational hipster hatters continue to not understand is that the hipster costume is simply a costume. It has no greater implications, good or bad. You could line up 50 people dressed like “hipsters” in a row and discover that 5 of them have real jobs and don’t freeload, 2 or them make art that doesn’t look like it was stolen from a pre-school, 37 of them are indeed drunk and useless pieces of scum , and the other 6 are just bros who thought they could “bag more chicks” by looking “indie.” You could find the same kind of breakdown in ever group of people.

    As I’ve said before, in the end it does all come down to attitude, and even there, what’s “normal?”

    • I'm so unhip says:

      Hey Lee,
      Next time you’re around my neighborhood let’s grab a drink. You sound like someone I’d hang with. You seem to say alot of what I think, just better. I’m more than a little brain fried. No PBR ok?

      • Lee Jones says:

        I’m so unhip, I’d be happy to grab a drink, if I have time. However, I don’t live anywhere near NYC and my next trip (in a little under 2 weeks) is pretty booked.

        And I don’t drink booze at all, so no PBR is definitely cool.

        And I appreciate your writing as well. You’ve never ventured into the realm of personal attacks, something which I’m certainly guilty of.

  3. I'm so unhip says:

    I’m surprised it wasn’t common knowledge before that the Hasids owned much of the real estate. They’ve been buying it up for years. They often buy at the lowest cost possible, fix it up, and then rent it for a high price. They may not morally like the hipster tenants, but they like the money. It’s business. You may not like the person walking into your bar, but if he’s a big spender and doesn’t cause trouble, his money’s just as good right? Like any group, some are decent people, others are downright evil. They’re very secluded and secretive though. I can’t speak for what actually goes on behind closed doors, but I have some ideas from people I’ve met who’ve left the community. Basically, they don’t like us. Any of us. They are “chosen by God”. And we…are not. I know that sounds antisemitic of me. But think of me what you will.

    • It doesn’t “Unhip” sound anti-Semitic – actually a pretty reasonable assessment of their exclusive country club. Wow what do you think about the racism on DieHipster? Is it okay because it’s reverse racism towards white folks?

      • I'm so unhip says:

        Honestly, I don’t see it so much as racism as most hipsters are, in fact, white. It’s hard not to acknowledge that. If I were writing a blog hating on saggy pants wearing rappers, well, same deal. The race issue is there almost as a side-effect and not the point of the blog. But I haven’t read the whole site nor all the comments so maybe I missed something blatantly racist.
        To answer your question about “reverse racism” in general-there’s nothing “reverse” about it. Racists are racists, regardless of their color or the color they’re busy hating. There definitely exists a double standard in how most of society views racism against whites. It’s not often talked about. And if you mention it as a white person, you get called the racist instead. But I think many whites do it to themselves. It’s part of “white guilt”. They will excuse racism against them because they feel bad about the injustices done to {whatever} people by whites in the past. And they will argue the point too. Personally, I don’t buy into it. I’m guilt-free and have acquaintances from every walk of life you can imagine. The ones who are friends are those who can accept me and love me as I am and I feel the same for them. Most are actually not white but there’s never any racial tension on either end.

      • I'm so unhip says:

        PS- Would you forward my email to Lee please? He seems like someone I’d have fun talking to. Thanks.

      • Lee Jones – are you okay with this? if you are, I will forward to you I’m So Unhip’s email

  4. The great Rabbi guy from Diehipster says my post is anti-Semitic. In what ways, Mr. Rabbi? Because I say a few things about Hassids and provide evidence that backs up what I said. FACT: Some Hassids were busted with a meth plant. FACT: Some Hassids ran an illegal health care business that took advantage of the government. Please let me know what you think is anti-Semitic? Also, you have no right to call “I’m So UnHip” – a pussy. No man should jokingly call a woman a pussy. I don’t care if you are really sixty-years-old – that gives you no right.

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