Cleaning Up Diehipster’s Mess

Okay I’m not the best grammaritician, but here I go anyway.

Original hipster-beating posting:

Today, I saw a kazoo voiced, bamboo legged, production assistant churning local organic butter under the Williamsburg bridge in his Ziggy Stardust uniform. So I launched a bowling ball into his stomach so hard that he sharted out his rooftop vegetable and moonshine breakfast. End of story.

Here’s it with correct grammar:

Today I saw a kazoo-voiced, bamboo-legged production assistant churning local organic butter under the Williamsburg bridge – in his Ziggy Stardust uniform – for CHRIST SAKES!   Henceforth, I decided to launch a bowling ball into his stomach so hard he sharted out his rooftop vegetable and moonshine breakfast. End of story.

Makes it a little easier to understand.  Come on Diehipster, don’t make us “haters” have to show you how to use a little bit of grammar to make a story more readable.   Or maybe that’s your secret statement – that we are better than you in terms of qualification for job skills making it easier for us to come over and start working and start taking away your housing because we can afford it because we have jobs and you locals are losing yours because you never got a decent education in your non-magnet Brooklyn public school, which in and of itself is really sad and I apologize, but hey, this is capitalism, right?  The best man wins? No, it shouldn’t be that way.  That’s why we need Diehipster.com to remind us that we need to check the global forces that create the hipster plague.

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7 Responses to Cleaning Up Diehipster’s Mess

  1. Josh says:

    “grammaritician”? It’s grammarian, dumbass.

  2. M says:

    Yeah, Ed, this is kinda nitpicky.

    Listen, I find diehipster’s avoidance of hyphens perplexing, but you’re probably not going to win many points by pointing it out.

  3. You fucking moron says:

    His grammar was fine; yours on the other hand is terrible. For one, you completely misused the word “henceforth.”

    • What is the proper usage of “henceforth?” Also shouldn’t you have posted saying, “for one, you completely misused the word, “henceforth.” Watch your lack of commas!

      • You fucking moron says:

        Henceforth means “from now on,” “from here on out.”

        Watch your own lack of commas, homosexual. You missed one after “Also.” You also fucked up the quotation marks in your second sentence.

      • You are right, you fucking moron. As the Little Prince taught us, “the hardest one to judge is ourselves.”

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